I want to have you a name, and I choose Kriss Theodale as a boy. I know it sounds odd, but I want you to be as distinctive as you can be, because I know that you are very unique just like your mother. I am looking forward to meet you, to hug you, to play with you, and watch you grow as I get old.

My son, when you arrive, I want you to feel special. I will always make you feel special. I will be your number one fan even you’ll sound creaky when you sing, or terrible in moving your body when you dance. I will still make you feel that you are special. Because you make me more exceptional.

When you arrive, I will come and be beside you when you want to be an astronaut and catch one star at a time, dream to become one of a kind superstar or a car racer. I will support you, just like a chair, I will be your lean and let you be the feet of it. For I want you to stand on your own and be comfortable with that.

And when you start to wonder about how the earth revolves and knew what’s right and wrong, I will be your guide. I will teach you basics and I’ll let you explore the rests. I want you to realize how the world is so good even when it sometimes goes wrong. I will require you to practice the power of your choices, to understand that life isn’t always easy and everything we decided would rather have a reward or a consequences.

And I will remind you to liberate your mind when people speak. Learn to open an ear when men preach. I will jog your memory about the ice cream sandwich I always eat, that there are two sides of everything- and it tastes better when you consider the two to take a bite and deal with it. I want you to think like that. You cannot be a one sided gentleman, for I know that you are good and gets better every time.

And when you realize that you’re in love with a girl next door, and try to make her as your own, I will help you to know her more. No! I will never stop you to love her, I will just ask you to take it slow, and light everything up between you and her. I will come with you to go to ladies’ section in the department store and pick a gift for her in every occasion you’ll celebrate, I will advise you to:

 “take this underwear because it’s cute”,

or

“take this comb because her hair badly needs it”,

or

pick this dress, it is pretty good to wear when I invite her to our home and have her in our meal”.

Yes! I will never stop you to love her, and I am not jealous, oh I ain’t, for I know that I will always be your favorite girl, your first lady and your mother.

But when love leaves, I will still be here to heal you and I will never comfort you but motivate you to continue. Love is like statistics, it is always have different probabilities, and conclusion and regressions. I will never fix you, I will just hug you and tell you that:

 “you don’t have to stay on the darkest part of your broken story”,

 I will put you out of your depression and I will let you walk on the way to moving on. It is the hardest thing in this life- get hurt and feel it intensively. It is like a knife. And I’m sorry if I didn’t mention about heartaches before. For I want you to discern the true meaning of pain, and recognize, and to learn to get through it so that you will never dare to hurt somebody, because you know how it is hardly to bare.

It feels good for me when I let you face the world with pain and smiles. Yes, life is tough as it is, but remember that you are the one who plays with it. Even when it gets warm or cold, still the world rotates and life must go on. I will never pick you up when failure comes, never. I will just talk to you:

“if you are ready and excited to face the victory with a beam, you must be ready and ever ready as well with a whole affirmation to encounter defeat.”

Because I know you will be strong, my son. Just like your mother independently put herself up when people knock her down.

Son, I will let you realize how words are significant in living in this unruly place. I want you to learn from me, so that when I have to go and leave you here, I will never get worried. My love, I want you to be resilient and kind. I want you to enjoy your freedom and search for the things what makes you contented and proud. But by no means hurt anybody or make them feel that they’re lesser because they don’t deserve to be treated that way and I know that you will never do that, because you are extraordinary and you have your own peculiarity, and you are my child.

Above all, I will love you, endlessly.

I am looking forward to meet you, to hug you, to play with you, and watch you grow as I get old.

 

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